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More Royal Rumble Thoughts plus a Rumble Style “Commentfest”

I’ll be throwing in some random thoughts on the Royal Rumble here as well as the Commentfest style commentary on the Rumble PPV from my Facebook friends. If you missed my sarcasm in the review, don’t worry, because it’s there in the Rumblefest. Enjoy.

– I love seeing Edge back. I knew it was coming, but I didn’t think they’d book him to win the Rumble. Congrats to those that predicted it. I was set on HHH or HBK winning. The first time I saw Edge wrestle was in 1997, the year before he got into WWE. Met him a bunch of times. Great guy. A true fan of the business too. Let’s just hope that Edge as a babyface doesn’t mean he has to cut John Cena’s Sesame Street style promos going forward.

– I assume the plan going forward is to have Michaels screw Undertaker out of the World Title and get it onto Jericho to set up Jericho vs. Edge at WrestleMania. That would also lead to Undertaker vs. Michaels non-title (with Taker wanting the match because Michaels screwed him), which makes sense considering both are likely to take time off after WM just like last year. They can do it in the Elimination Chamber match. Lots of possibilities here. I’m actually glad they are going with the less obvious route to set up these matches.

– As much as I love Jericho, I think CM Punk might be the best overall performer in WWE right now. He was the star of the Rumble match even though he was only in there for a third of it. His character is drawing incredible heat right now and he’s backing it up with good work on the ring. The promos, though, those are the ones that catch your eye. I always knew he was a great talker from his ROH days, but I didn’t think WWE would let him “run with the ball” so to speak as much as they have. He’s really in a zone.

– The most interesting thing coming from the show, at least to me, is the suggestion that Randy Orton might be going babyface. I don’t know if I agree with that thinking considering he’s such a great heel. Plus, Raw needs heels and I don’t see Cena, HHH or HBK turning heel soon. Of course, I’d rather see HHH in the heel role, but I doubt it happens. To me, Orton works better as a heel. He’s a great heel. I don’t know if he can be a great babyface. It’s not like he can become “Stone Cold” Randy Orton or something. Maybe there’ll be other twists in this story. Who knows? I’m interested, that’s for sure.

By the way, the Elimination Chamber PPV is in St. Louis. Whose home town is that? Randy Orton.

– The Undertaker’s looking really injured right now. Did you see him walking up the steps during the match with Mysterio? He was moving gingerly. The hip surgery he had last year really slowed him down, plus he’s got back and knee issues. Like I wrote last night, I wouldn’t be shocked if he barely wrestles between now and WrestleMania. They can protect him during the Elimination Chamber PPV with five other guys in the match, so hopefully he can make it there without any more injuries.

– Shawn Michaels did a great job of selling his frustration over his inability to win the Rumble. He threw one ref into the announce table and then superkicked another in the ring. It’ll be interesting to see HBK lose his mind trying to get at the Undertaker. As much as I enjoy funny Shawn at times, I like when he get serious way more.

– I really like Serena. The body, the facial expressions, that smile…hell even the lack of hair. Very attractive woman. I like the short brunettes, can’t help it.

– Speaking of short brunettes that I like, I’m really glad Mickie James-Canton won the Women’s Title. I really didn’t like the Piggy James angle at its inception because it’s ridiculous to call a woman that looks like her “fat,” but the payoff at the Rumble was great. That’s what Mickie said about it from the beginning. She didn’t hate the angle and she hoped the payoff would be good. It was good. Hopefully the piggy stuff stops and they can just concentrate on having a wrestling feud. I’m expecting a long James/McCool match on TV, probably as soon as this week’s Smackdown in Memphis.

– Beth Phoenix’s inclusion in the Rumble was classic. She did great. There weren’t enough funny moments in the Rumble this year, but that one was good. Made me laugh.

– Matt Striker’s commentary is so refreshing compared to the tired act of Jerry Lawler. I think Lawler’s become terrible because they don’t let him heel it up like he should be doing considering he was great that that. Now he tries to be generic and PG so much that it hurts the overall commentary of the show. I don’t even hate Cole as much as some people think. I just hate how they are on Raw. During this PPV, Cole was fine. He didn’t irritate me much at all compared to a regular edition of Raw.

That’s all. Good Rumble PPV. Looking forward to the next two months.

I think that’s enough. Let’s move on. I’ll be posting some comments relating to the Rumble from my Facebook page. There weren’t that many on Twitter from what I remember, so I didn’t get any from there. Plus, it was acting up on me while I compiling it. Reader comments will be in the red with my comments in the brackets when necessary.

Welcome to the Rumblefest, where both feet must be touching the floor to post a comment.

ECW’s first?! I THOUGHT IT’D BE AFTER THE RUMBLE!!! (Yes, shocking.)

Bad News Brown 2010!

How can Big Zeke be both muscly and fat at the same time? His jiggles on the way to the ring takes away from his ‘serious look.’ (Vince McMahon! Posting early in the show.)

This is why Christian is my favourite wrestler. Like Jericho, he can work with anyone and make them look good.

It is at this point the WWE would like to remind you that these jobbers are still on the roster. That is all. (Hey Cryme Tyme won a match. Once.)

I doubt Khali said “No dice, homeslice.” It was probably like “I WILL NOT GIVE YOU MY SPOT, STRANGELY DRESSED BLACK MEN!”

I don’t think Miz can save this segment. (Nope.)

And randy orton begins his walk to the ring for the 2011 Royal Rumble.

The trauma of his movie not being watched by a single person has really gotten to ted.

Who HONESTLY would wear an MVP shirt? I like him and all, but damn it’s ugly.

“Oh my God get out there and stitch MVP’s nose up!”
“Settle down, Vince, it’s just his breathe-right strip.”
“Oh, OK, wake me up in half an hour.”
(This is even funnier because of the blood that would happen later.)

So first MVP turns face because of frustration over never winning and now he is possibly turning heel again over what? Losing all the time… yep, makes sense.

Gelatinous Tapeworm @ 12:38pm AEDST (He gets in for the Australia time zone.)

Pretty Ricky secret entrant #1.

This is a battle of one who is a tanning bed macihine…vs a what the hell is a tanning bed animal!

Wow… nearly the whole crowd chanting “Randy Randy”… and there is the “slithering” reference. Ah, the ups and down of the WWE.

This is what happens when you have 2 heels in the title picture, fans are gonna chant for the heel thats been around for longest time. (Yep.)

When did Eminem become a ref? (Bet they all look the same to you, huh Costanza?)

How is the 2nd rope DDT downright venomous? What’s so venomous about it? It’s like the 619, he manages to fit it in in ever match. It should be downright predictable.

What the hell? Since when is that DQ worthy? (Since they don’t want to book a real finish.)

What? No stupid stupid stupid stupid as he bashes his head into the mat?

I hate tourist crowds, you just know cena and dx are gonna get massive pops, WWE shoud give 1,500 free tickets to us true fans. John get on it!!!!! (I just texted Vince. We’re in. The first Raw in January 2017. Let the countdown begin.)

Mickie James-Canton time! :D

Cue the vintage commentfest “MICKIE!!!!” screamfest. (You say that like it’s a bad thing.)

MJC out to win one for the fat girls!

Could Undertaker’s entrance be any longer? (Yes, at WrestleMania with the really long ramp.)

Of course Rey excels against larger opponents. They’re all larger than him.

“I can believe im seeing blood, I didn’t know that could happen.” I know King, PG wrestling who’d have thought?

What am I supposed to tell the kids! Blood? BLOOD??? Damn you WWE!! (Is Damn even allowed. It should be darn.)

I am surprised they have not stopped the match to clean Undertaker’s nose.

Rey lost a tooth! Looked great on HD! Woohoo.

Finally they show how the Rumble actually works. Been wondering…

Dolph Ziggler- this year’s 1995 HBK? LMAO at that thought….oh here comes that Braun guy.

Notice how the first two guys have songs featured on the new WWE Music CD, so their songs get played longest ;) AHHHH I’m onto you, Vince. (Don’t give Vince any credit. Thanks.)

Guaren-damn-teed title shot at wrestlemania…unless someone else fits it better tomorrow night…or if creative changes their minds…but otherwise it is guaranteed.

LET’S GET READY TO STRAIGHT EDGE!!!!!!!!!

In-Rumble promo!!! Punk rules!! :)

Punk: I can save you…from horrible Curry food.

BETH!

CM Punk chants! Yes!

BLOOD- get the trainer out!

OK, sorry to be a mark, but this is kinda awesome in concept so far! (Thanks for posting, Todd Grisham.)

I’M LOVING PUNK right now. Listen to the damn crowd!

Drew’s like NO THAT’S ONE OF MY GYM PARTNERS!!!

Damnit, I was so into the beginning of the Rumble. Punk was awesome. The crowd loved him. And then HHH the MFA ruined everything. (He felt like avenging some families in the ring.)

JOMO with the KTFO Crescent Kick!! (True story: After I referred to Morrison as “Jomo” a few times in a column somebody emailed me claiming to be a friend of his saying that he hated when he got called that. So I stopped. I listen to feedback.)

That’s a good way to continue the MVP/Miz feud and eliminating two guys at once.

MATT HARDY RUNS TO THE RING LIKE HE RUNS FROM…ah fuck it you guys know what I’m saying…

Thanks for coming, Matt. (I read on his Twitter that he had to drive from Raleigh to Atlanta – six hours according to Google Maps – so he could get tossed out in about 20 seconds. Gotta love the wrestling business, huh?)

WHAT!??! KANE IS ELIMINATED?! HOW?!?! HE WAS THE FAVORITE!!!!!

I just don’t understand how EVEN WHEN HES JOBBED Matt gets huge pops and still doesn’t get pushed.. *Sees Matt eliminated before finishing typing..* WOW.. Then the great HHH elimnates Kane.. I FUCKIN HATE HHH.

HOLY SHIT! (What caused that reaction?)

HHH IS GONE!!!

HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAA FUCK YES!!!!!!!!!

YEAHYEAHYEAHYE3AWEYHAHAWE
AERHAERGJLAEHRGAERG
NETGASM.
NO HHH

YEEEESSSSSS!!!! FUCK YOU HHH!!!

wow that was early (That’s what she said. Not to me. Never to me.)

HHH is out of the Rumble before Shelton Benjamin is even in??? I guess hell just froze over.

Playing poker on PokerStars, watching the Rumble, drinking Cherry Dr. Pepper. Does life get any better? Yes it does, when HHH gets eliminated. That rules. (Cherry Dr. Pepper? What an odd mix.)

Who else tried to eliminate big show that way…I think Chris something? (Yes. That guy.)

Mark Henry has eliminated 2 people in his 5 previous Rumbles… (He’s a threat to win!)

Somebody gonna get their thirst quenched!!!!!

Has R-Truth been working out at HHH’s gym?

“Who can eliminate Big Show?” “In years past it takes 6 or 7 guys”
2000: Eliminated by The Rock
2001: Elimnated by The Rock
2002: by Kane
2004: Benoit
2006: by HHH
2009: by Orton

So it’s actually never taken more than 1. Idiots. (Pointing out stupid comments with facts is fantastic.)

This just turned into the All-American American American American Rumble.

Katie vick #29 (Let her rest in peace!)

Vintage 10:31 EST

VINTAGE MICHAELS!!!

I guess Batista and… Orton? (Didn’t I write multiple times that Edge was in the Rumble? Believe in me, people!)

YESDSSSS!!! EDGE!!!!!!!! (D is the new S.)

OHSHITOMGWTFBBQ!!!

YES!!!!!!! I’m so glad I was wrong. My favorite, Edge, is BACK! (You’re wrong for not listening to me when I tell you he was going to be in the Rumble.)

I got chills when Edge’s music played. Holy shit. (Funny. I get chills when I see my ex-girlfriend calling me.)

Yep, i’m pregnant! Thanks Edge. (Too much info.)

Edge or Michaels can win and I will be fine…. the other 2 win, big disappointment.

Hey remember when we had Jesse Ventura hosting RAW and telling us we need new guys in the main event picture? Yea, neither does Vince.

If cena wins btw… I riot… and i really dont wanna, ive just moved into this apt an i really dont want to thrash it

FUCK YOU BATISTA!!! (Sounds like a grandpa pissed off about Batista stealing his pullover sweater and golfing hat that he wore on Smackdown last week. Get him, grandpa!)

Edge wins!! Edge wins!!! Edge wins!!!!

EEEEDDDDGGGGEEEE!

YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!

YES!!!!!!!! EDGE EDGE EDGE!!!!! *COMPLETE MARK OUT RIGHT NOW*

EDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM GOING TO SEE EDGE BECOME A 10 TIME CHAMP AT MANIA LIVE FUCK YEAH!!!! (Unless he gets hurt. What? Too soon?)

Edge!!!!! WM bound! Woohooooo! (They’re all WM bound, really.)

Actually this must have been the best ppv since at least Summerfest. (I agree.)

If edge and jericho headline mania. I will buy a ppv. Haven’t bought one since last mania. (They might not be the last match, but get ready to buy.)

That’s all. See you late tonight, around 1am ET, for The Raw Deal and then Tuesday for Commentfest.

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  1. February 1, 2010 at 5:26 PM

    John, Cherry Dr. Pepper is a marketed drink in the states. Used to be called “Dr. Pepper Red Fusion” now just Cherry Dr. Pepper. Good stuff.

  2. Aaron
    February 1, 2010 at 5:29 PM

    I like Edge, but I am not as high on him as most on this blog are. I have never seen his appeal. I think he’s been a terrific heel, a funny face.. like I said I LIKE him, but I’ve never been a mark for him like I would be for Jericho…

    But I would mark for Christian, maybe it’s the underdog thing. Jesus, my profile picture is D’lo Brown…. (thanks for posting, Ivory)

  3. Mr.ken
    February 1, 2010 at 5:40 PM

    i didnt watch the ppv but i did read up on it thanks to jc. Sounds like it was a hell of a buy. It threw a rench in my wrestlemania card. I agree with cm punk owning the ring the crowd and the mic. Hbk dosnt like this guys gimmic? Is it the jesus refrencing? Damn it shawn cm punk is awesome and your not getting your way this time. I say make this a decent sized faction thats on both shows. And yes.. Serina is..wow. Ive always been all melina.. And maryse.. But i think im in love. Facial expressions are great and dosnt look like shes afrade to take a bump. All in all shes amazing. Bald is beautifull.

  4. David McMillan
    February 1, 2010 at 5:43 PM

    John, I really think you’re thinking too black-and-white for whether Orton is heel or not.

    I think a big part of the attitude Era’s success was forgetting this black and white distinction between heel and face.

    Orton gets great heat, but he gets RKO chants from the audience on a regular basis. In fact, its not quite yet on the Rock’s level, but Orton almost has to try hard to be the heel in promos now given how much he’s over with the crowd. Very rarely doesn’t the crowd “boo” Orton unless he’s facing a top baby face that the crowd is behind like Cena / HHH.

    Otherwise, the WWE universe seems to respect his work. Anytime you get that kind of respect, you can make the change easily.

    Just because he might go a little-more-face doesn’t mean he has to change his personality at all. He’ll still be Randy Orton, he’ll just be more legit bad-ass and less legacy helping him cheat.

  5. Cam
    February 1, 2010 at 5:48 PM

    im sorry but still a terrible rumble match. the young guys lasted about three minutes tops and there was never a lot of people in the ring. i really dont see why they are pushing are truth. hes in his late 30’s

    • esfjellin
      February 1, 2010 at 6:00 PM

      Morrison and McIntyre (sp?) asted way more than the other young’uns but the fact that they didn’t throw anyone over hurt. But yeah, I hear you. Someone said in a prior comment that when Striker said “the 4 remaining men have all highlighted a Wrestlemania” that that was the problem with the WWE today. I wholeheartedly agree.

      • Aaron
        February 2, 2010 at 9:05 AM

        I have to agree as well. Let me put it this way, one of the best Royal Rumble PPV’s was the 2000 Royal Rumble.. (Tazz intro, Dudleys v. Hardys, HHH, Cactus Jack) however, the Rumble match itself on that card was one of the worst. Noone lasted very long, and those that lasted any time at all were not guys they needed to try and get over (Test, Bossman, Gangrel) and that was about 20 minutes. It was contant ring clearing and not a good Rumble, and I’m sure it was somewhat botched because Rock’s feet hit the floor before Big Show hit the floor. This Rumble match had a similar feel… with the exception of Grease-Pac being a final four guy. (I know a lack of Austin did hurt a bit too). Noone was elevated in that Rumble match either, and it was lacking for sure.

        A fresh face in there would have been nice. Just to be in that “final four” would have been decent. Eh, but HHH or HBK didn’t win, I’m happy about that.

  6. Rated R
    February 1, 2010 at 6:01 PM

    @Aaron: How could you not be a Edge mark when he has the ‘ultimate opportunist’ gimmick behind him? He was awesome in 2008, and went out for a couple of month with a great, great match. Then he came back in SS08 that had the whole building blown up. At NOW 09, he did it again. Only he can lose a world title and win another in one night. Then at Extreme Rules, he had an awesome match… then he stole another opportunity at the bash, becoming the tag champs along side Jericho. He’s one of the best talkers, he’s a great wrestler and he makes kids cry and tell them they’re wrong.

    I’m not sure he’s face or heel now, but I’m concerned a face turn would ruin his character. I think he’s the most entertaining guy in WWE as a heel, though. Jericho is not even close imo. He’s gotten a little stale to be honest.

    I thought the Rumble match was pretty good. Last year, they had too many people in the ring. It was even hard to see what RVD was doing seconds after entering the ring. CM Punk was awesome. The Beth Phoenix part and Cena doing a double you-can’t-see-me was hilarious. HBK eliminating HHH had me standing up yelling “THANK YOU!”, same goes for when he himself was eliminated by Batista. I never thought HBK would win it actually. I always thought him winning would have made things too easy. There’d be no fun in that. Finally, I loved the outcome even if was very obvious.

    • Aaron
      February 2, 2010 at 9:10 AM

      I think the “ultimate oppertunist” thing is also a little stale. They used it to get Edge over… uhm.. he’s over now. We get it. He gets injured (a lot) comes back at an “oppertune” moment. Orton does not need to be the LEgend killer any more, he’s over. HHH is not constantly called the cerebral assassin.. he’s over (Your damn right he’s over, to quote a T-Shirt).

      I like Edge, I respect his mic work, I think he has above average ring work. I’m just not enamored with the guy and it wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest if he does not get the belt at Mania. I do hope this time around he stays healthy. After watching Raw, I don’t see Edge staying face long.. Maybe through Mania, but not long after. But we’ll see.

  7. Pickled Merkin
    February 1, 2010 at 7:12 PM

    I thought it was good. Someone should of done a poo poo in the ring though! Ha HA HA!

  8. Y2A
    February 1, 2010 at 7:19 PM

    Here is what I would do leading into Wrestlemania…

    WWE Royal Rumble

    World Heavyweight Championship Match
    The Undertaker © DEF Rey Mysterio
    ((NOTES:: WWE loves to do the random challenger thing at the Rumble, this is no different. I don’t think it is any big secret Rey won’t be winning this match, but they can use CM Punk to make it interesting. CM Punk can come out and cost Rey the match, then Rey can later get CM Punk eliminated in the Rumble.))

    ECW Championship Match
    Ezekiel Jackson DEF Christian © (New Champion)
    ((NOTES:: ECW is coming to an end, and it is time for Christian to move on. Ezekiel Jackson will be a good leader of whatever locker room they create as their official FARM system.))

    Women’s Championship Match
    Mickie James DEF Michelle McCool © (New Champion)
    ((NOTES:: Michelle McCool may go over, but putting Mickie over is the right thing.))

    WWE Championship Match
    Randy Orton DEF Sheamus © (New Champion)
    ((NOTES:: A lot of time has been invested into Sheamus, and I think he has some potential. The problem is that there is no single match, or single victory that is going to make him legitimate. What Sheamus needs is a good feud, and the prospect of that was thrown out the window when they ran heel v. heel. He will follow this up with a decent showing in an Elimination Chamber, and then he will have the following few months to get himself a main event feud to hopefully build him as a legitimate threat to all titles. In the mean time, Orton wins this one.))

    2010 Royal Rumble Match
    Winner– Ted Dibiase Jr
    ((NOTES:: Think of how much a Royal Rumble victory did for HBK in his youth. Stone Cold? HHH? The list goes on. Why are the old guys not putting over the young guys here again? Oh wait, because they want their Wrestlemania payouts to be larger. Well too bad, as it is time to put over a youth. While Kofi v. Orton would be great, I think it is time to green light the Dibiase face turn before it is too late. Some notes on the rumble, HBK eliminates HHH after they had been working together, fearing he would do the same to him. HBK thinks he has eliminated Morrison, but Morrison skins the cat and gets back in to eliminate HBK. The final four are John Morrison, Chris Jericho, Ted Dibiase Jr, and John Cena. Jericho goes for the Codebreaker on Cena but he catches him and Attitude Adjusters him to the outside, but when he turns around Morrison and Dibiase both eliminate Cena. They battle for a while, with Dibiase tossing him over, but Morrison is hanging on again. Dibiase does not celebrate, as he hits one of those signature drops kicks on Morrison as he is attempting to skin the cat back over and wins the Rumble.))

    TV Taping Notes Between WWE RR PPV->WWE EC PPV

    -Orton attempts to mentor Dibiase and convince him what a great idea it would be to pick The Undertaker, end his Wrestlemania streak, take his title and to beat the man who was debuted by his father Ted Dibiase on his Million Dollar Team at the 1990 Survivor Series.

    -”The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase and Ted Dibiase Jr cut a promo together in which elder Dibiase tells him that, if he wants his advice, choose Orton. He tells his son that when he beats The Undertaker, he will be moved to Smackdown and he will never get to face his demons, everything will be unsettled. He needs to pick Orton, beat Orton, take Orton’s belt and establish himself at the top of the ladder, and save The Undertaker for another time. He takes his father’s advice.

    -Orton kicks Dibiase out of Legacy and adds a new member, Joe Hennig, son of Mr. Perfect.

    -Dibiase chooses to face Orton at WM26, handicap match is made at WWE EC with Orton as guest referee.

    -Having that title scene cleared up, Vince announces that the World Heavyweight Championship match at Wrestlemania will be a Triple Threat Match. At WWE EC there will be a World Heavyweight Championship match and two Elimination Chambers, and the three winners will battle at Wrestlemania for the strap.

    -Teddy Long announces Rey Mysterio v CM Punk with the winner facing The Undertaker at WWE EC. Punk wins with help from the Straight Edge Society and spends the next month cutting promos on The Undertaker.

    -The following qualifying matches take place on TV Tapings to determine the participants of the two Elimination Chamber matches.

    ===Elimination Chamber 1 Qualifying Matches===
    Triple H and HBK DEF The Hart Dynasty
    Chris Jericho DEF R-Truth
    Big Show DEF The Miz
    John Morrison DEF Drew McIntyre
    Kofi Kingston DEF Cody Rhodes

    ===Elimination Chamber 2 Qualifying Matches===
    Rey Mysterio DEF Luke Gallows
    Jack Swagger DEF Mark Henry
    Sheamus DEF Hornswoggle
    John Cena DEF Shelton Benjamin
    Batista DEF Kane
    Christian DEF Dolph Ziggler

    WWE Elimination Chamber

    World Heavyweight Championship Match
    The Undertaker © DEF CM Punk
    ((NOTES:: First match of the night. Much closer and contested than their match that opened the HIAC PPV, with Punk nearly winning this one. He taps to Hells Gate, but after the match the newest member of the Straight Edge Society is revealed to be Bryan Danielson and they try to shave The Undertakers head. Rey Mysterio is out to make the save.))

    Diva’s Championship Match
    Gail Kim DEF Maryse © (New Champion)
    ((NOTES:: Maryse won the Diva’s tournament, but drops it here to Kim.))

    Elimination Chamber (For spot in World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Match @ Wrestlemania)
    Chris Jericho DEF Big Show, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, John Morrison, and Sheamus.
    ((NOTES:: Leading up to this, they sell the severed friendship between Jeri-Show, with Big Show emotionally telling Jericho he has moved on and has The Miz to count on now. Despite that, they agree to work together for one more match. DX kind of does the same, but a lot of tention there with HHH eliminating HBK from the Rumble. First one out is Big Show, who does a lot of the fighting. Jericho does a lot of cheering on from his cage as he watches Big Show eliminate Sheamus. He is less thrilled when the next entrant is him and he gets out of his cell cautiously, unsure of what Big Show will do. He is thrilled again when he sees that he is friendly, and they wait for the next entrant, Jericho hitting a “vintage” top-rope corner hammock as he awaits and gloats. HHH is out and they work him over some, HBK and Morrison eventually joining them. HBK hits sweet chin music to eliminate Morrison. DX manages to get Big Show isolated and they eliminate him, but right after HHH pedigrees HBK and pins him, then apologizes. HBK cannot believe that HHH cost him a shot at The Undertaker. After the “heartfelt” apologizing, HBK spits in HHHs face, allowing enough of a distraction for Jericho to hit the Codebreaker on HHH and get the pinfall. The Undertaker v. Jericho v. _____ at Wrestlemania.))

    Women’s Championship Match
    Mickie James © DEF Michelle McCool and Beth Pheonix
    ((NOTES:: Mickie James manages to retain.))

    United States Championship Match
    The Miz © DEF MVP
    ((NOTES:: The culmination of some great verbal banter over the last few months finally ends in a clean victory for The Miz.))

    Handicap Match with Special Guest Referee — Randy Orton ©
    Ted Dibiase Jr DEF Cody Rhodes & Joe Hennig
    ((NOTES:: The odds stacked COMPLETELY against him, yet Dibiase finds a way to win and prove he is ready. Orton looks concerned as this match ends.))

    Elimination Chamber (For spot in World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Match @ Wrestlemania)
    Edge DEF Christian, Batista, John Cena, Kofi Kingston, and Jack Swagger.
    ((NOTES:: Chris Jericho is on commentary for this match. He cracks jokes about not caring who wins this match because he is nothing but a minor stumbling block en route to him becoming World Champion for the 6th time, ending The Undertakers WM Streak and establishing himself as the TRUE Phenom of the WWE. Rey Mysterio was the 6th man, but was attacked backstage earlier in the night by the Straight Edge Society. There is open lobbying to Vince over who he should put in his spot, HHH, HBK, and CM Punk all trying to be put in this spot. Jericho cracks a joke that maybe the 6th man should be Hornswoggle because he is the most talented member of DX. Moments later, EDGE’S music hits, and NOW Jericho looks concerned. Cena and Batista are really going after each other in this match, with Cena eventually eliminating Batista. Batista rages and throws a temper tantrum and manages to hit his finisher a few times on Cena as he is leaving, putting Cena in real bad shape and ultimately costing him the match. This one comes down to Edge and Christian, with Edge eventually going over and heading to Wrestlemania to fight Jericho and The Undertaker. Edge stares through the chamber at Jericho at the booth as the card ends.))

    TV Taping Notes Between WWE EC PPV->WWE WM26 PPV

    -Triple H officially turns on HBK. He verbally and physically assaults him and tells him that he has been carrying him for years because of their friendship. He is going to teach Shawn that you don’t bite the hand that feeds, and remind him what a horrible decision it is to stand in between Hunter and a title. He tells Shawn that if it weren’t for him, he would still be working in a cafeteria in Texas as some washed up former wrestler. Triple H saved him, he made him credible again, but he is still too blind to see it. He tells HBK that Ric Flair was never his friend. Ric doesn’t give a damn about Shawn. He has talked to Vince, and they both felt it was time for some karma. At Wrestlemania, HBK is going to fight HHH, and if Shawn can’t beat him, like Naitch could not beat Shawn, then HBK must retire. No more show-stopping, no more Mr.Wrestlemania.

    -Edge and Jericho spend most of the month battling each other, with a few Undertaker sightings (lights going off, smoke, etc), but mostly they let Taker rest up to put a quality match on at Wrestlemania. Edge and Jericho re-open scars from their Unified Tag Team split, going deep into their history.

    -Cena and Batista do some cross-brand bickering about costing each other the Elimination Chamber and set up this year’s inter-brand match.

    -Bret Hart and Vince McMahon come to blows and decide to settle it in the ring. Bret Hart tells Vince that he has no reason to fight him. He is above Vince, and he has known that for years. Vince ups the ante by enticing Bret Hart with a stipulation that IF Bret Hart can beat him in a Street Fight at Wrestlemania, then Bret Hart will become the new fulltime General Manager of Raw. IF Bret loses, he will be erased from WWE history… the Hall of Fame, the record books, etc… and will never be allowed in a WWE ring ever again.

    -Rey Mysterio and CM Punk are in full swing in their rivalry. CM Punk cuts some typically great promos and points out that he is just heartbroken that he can’t shave Mysterio’s already bald head. But he knows what he can do… remove his mask. They set up a mask v. hair match.

    -The Miz and Chris Jericho are battling on an episode of Raw. Big Show is at ringside watching his old buddy battle his new buddy. Both are calling for help, but Big Show eventually lays out both of them and leaves, officially turning face. His actions over the next few weeks resemble this, and then the attacks from Sheamus begin, setting up a main event feud for Sheamus that hopefully will establish him as a main event wrestler that “earned” it.

    WWE Wrestlemania XXVI

    Money in the Bank Ladder Match
    John Morrison DEF Shelton Benjamin, The Miz, Drew McIntyre, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston, and Evan Bourne.
    ((NOTES:: Open the card with some of the best workers in the company John Morrison will win this one and prepare for the ultimate push after a heel turn and a slight makeover.))

    Sheamus DEF Big Show
    ((NOTES:: This would started after a Big Show face turn. Sheamus kicks out of the “Knockout Punch” and ultimately gets the win on the biggest stage in the business.))

    Hair v Mask Match
    Rey Mysterio DEF CM Punk
    ((NOTES:: They managed to turn a slopping situation with Rey and The Undertaker into a lengthy feud between two world class athletes. After the match CM Punk can get his head shaved, and then the Straight Edge Society can mangle Rey, putting him on the shelf for a few months to rest.))

    Raw v. Smackdown Match
    John Cena DEF Batista
    ((NOTES:: Pretty straight forward here. Two “mega-powers” that probably both feel they should be fighting for a belt. Cena will go over in this one.))

    Street Fight
    Bret Hart DEF Vince McMahon
    ((NOTES:: Bret Hart is limited, but puts up enough of a fight to beat Vince and become the new fulltime GM of Monday Night Raw. After the match he spits in Vince’s face.))

    Women’s Championship Fatal 4-Way Match
    Beth Phoenix DEF v. Mickie James ©, Michelle McCool, and Natalya (New Champion)
    ((NOTES:: It is about time. That is all I have to say.))

    WWE Championship Match
    Ted Dibiase Jr DEF Randy Orton © (New Champion)
    ((NOTES::Tons of build ends with a new future star holding the title in the middle of the ring. Congrats Teddy.))

    “If HBK Loses, He Must Retire” Match
    Shawn Michaels DEF Triple H
    ((NOTES:: They have already done this match a few times, in fact I think they do it EVERY time DX breaks up, but the added retirement build could make this a real money making feud.))

    World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Match
    The Undertaker © DEF Chris Jericho and Edge
    ((NOTES:: Edge and Jericho are going to go on to a pretty lengthy singles feud, but this was a great way to start it with Undertaker clearly not losing at WM, Jericho already staggering from a plethora of recent clean losses, and Edge unable to take a pin in his return program. The end comes when Jericho has Undertaker in the Walls and Edge pulls the referee out of the ring. Undertaker is tapping and the streak should be over, but with no referee Jericho eats a spear while still applying the Walls to Undertaker. The referee is back just in time to see Undertaker clear Edge out of the ring and Tombstone Jericho for the pin.)

    Post-Wrestlemania Plans

    -The night after Wrestlemania would be a 3-hour Draft Edition of Raw. Bret Hart will take over as permanent Raw GM and Vicky Guerrero will take over as permanent Smackdown GM.

    -ECW, and the ECW Championship, are disbanded. All ECW wrestlers are entered into the Draft and disbursed among the two brands, Raw and Smackdown. It is announced that each brand will get an extra hour of TV time each week to take the place of ECW and WWE Superstars.

    -Tuesday Night Raw will be a 60 minute show that airs every Tuesday on SyFy in the former ECW time slot. This show will be taped Mondays before Monday Night Raw and will feature wrestlers from the Raw roster. Many of the up and comers will get a chance to shine here and the Intercontinental Championship will be defended regularly here. Big name Monday Night Raw stars will occasionally stop by to boost ratings. Storylines will obviously carry over from the main show, but this hour block will mostly be dedicated to wrestling matches and giving younger workers a chance to show what they have got.

    -Thursday Night Smackdown will be a 60 minute show that airs every Thursday on The CW in the former WWE Superstars time slot. This show will be taped Tuesdays before Friday Night Smackdown and will feature wrestlers from the Smackdown roster. Many of the up and comers will get a chance to shine here and the United States Championship will be defended regularly here. Big name Friday Night Smackdown stars will occasionally stop by to boost ratings. Storylines will obviously carry over from the main show, but this hour block will mostly be dedicated to wrestling matches and giving younger workers a chance to show what they have got.

    -Triple H, irate from the Wrestlemania loss, would drop the bomb the next night on the WWE Draft edition of Raw that Shawn has one last obstacle. Shawn did what nobody can do, he embarrassed Triple H on the biggest stage of them all. Tonight on Raw, for the Draft Special, he was ending the career once and for all. It would be HHH v. HBK in a retirement match. Bret “Hitman” Hart’s music hits and he is out. He soaks in the cheers as the New Raw GM. He promises change and a more entertaining wrestling product. There are no more “guest hosts” for HHH to come out and bully and pull the strings. It is Harts’ show now, and he won’t be seeing a retirement match tonight, but he does agree that Raw is likely too small for the both of them. That said, tonight HHH and HBK would fight in a “Loser Leaves Raw” match! On his way out, he drops an “Oh, and I almost forgot”. He ran it by Smackdown GM Vickie Guerrero, and the winner of that match (which is starting after a right now), will be in the main event TONIGHT against The Undertaker… for the World Heavyweight Championship! HBK would win the match, and then in the main event he would win the World Heavyweight Championship by proving he CAN beat The Undertaker. Triple H is forced to move to Smackdown.

    -The next week on Raw, now free of Triple H and The Undertaker, we find out who Shawn Michaels will be feuding. At the start of Raw, HBK is cutting an emotional promo with his new title, and he is telling the fans how everything he does is for them. He talks about how he honestly never thought he would be a World Champion again and how much it means to him. Towards the end of the promo, John Morrison slips out of the stands and attacks HBK with the briefcase. He is brutalizing HBK with the case and HBK is busted open and out. A referee runs out and Morrison, who has a slightly new look modeled to look more like the HBK in his prime. Morrison is over HBK with a mic and he tells the referee to go to the back, he doesn’t need him now as he smiles looking at his briefcase. He is on a knee over HBK and is holding him by the hair. The fans are booing and Morrison is soaking it up. “Shawn, you probably aren’t going to remember this, but do me a favor and watch the replay, ok? I am not here to cash in my briefcase. In fact, watch…” Morrison pushes Shawn onto his back and lays over him and counts himself to five before pulling him back up. “You see Shawn, I could beat you right now, I could walk out of here with that belt tonight… but I don’t want to do that. I don’t NEED to do that. You see Shawn, unlike all these past MITB winners, I don’t need to sneak up on somebody, or jockey for position to become the Champion. I am BETTER than you Shawn. I am everything you were in your prime, plus more. I have more looks, more moves, more charisma, I have IT. What you USED to have. You see Shawn, I am going to be cashing in this briefcase this month at Backlash, and I am going to beat you 1-2-3. There will be excuses, not retirement stipulations. The only retirement you are going to get is the self-imposed one when you realize that you no longer are the best in the world.”

    -Morrison continues to slowly evolve his look over the next couple weeks leading to Backlash. He starts sporting the chaps, vests, and heart-shaped glasses. He also gets a manager. Like HBK had Sensational Sherri, Diesel, Rick Rude and Sycho Sid, Morrison will now have a manager as well. Personally, I would go with Alicia Fox, as I think she is one of the few divas with a REALISTIC mean streak and I think she is underrated on the mic. The other option would be Ezekiel Jackson, although it would be a shame to see him reduced back to his The Kendrick role.

    -Morrison and HBK have a classic match at Backlash, with Morrison playing the cocky heel the whole time. He underestimates HBK, and despite having an apparent three count after Starship Pain, he pulls HBK up and he mocks him, attempting to go for his own version of the Sweet Chin Music. He misses, and catches a lightning quick SCM from Michaels and it is over. Michaels wins.

    -Michaels spends the next couple weeks talking about how Morrison is desperate for attention, desperate to be HBK. Well now he is finally famous for something, he is the first person to cash in Money in the Bank and LOSE. Morrison tries to entice him into a rematch, but HBK tells him he does not deserve one. HBK finally gives in after Alicia Fox attacks HBK’s wife at ringside. Morrison breaks the news to Shawn Michaels that at WWE Extreme Rules, their match would not only be for the World Heavyweight Championship, it would be a LADDER MATCH.

    -Morrison would go over in the ladder match with some help from Alicia Fox and become the new World Heavyweight Champion, HBK would get extended time off until, say Survivor Series to rest up.

    -The Unified Tag Belts are disbanded after the DX fallout and are broken into two sets of titles again, one for Smackdown, one for Raw. Tournaments are held for each set of straps. The Hart Dynasty and The Straight Edge Society will be the title holders.

  9. Andrew Peterson
    February 1, 2010 at 7:41 PM

    EDGE won and threw everyone’s WM picks out the window. I spent the better part of my day figureing out the Shawn/Undertaker Edge/Jericho matches were going to materealize until I got to read the Sermon of course. Thanks for letting me sleep easy tonight!! I would also like to remind everyone that EDGE won the rumble once again “OHH YOU DIDN’T KNOW???”

  10. Mark Hallam
    February 1, 2010 at 8:29 PM

    @Y2A. That was a really good read apart from the fact Edge won the rumble?!? But regardless, that was entertaining as hell!!!

  11. Jay
    February 1, 2010 at 10:15 PM

    I am starting to love Serena. She is a budding Superstar. She is compelling and great actress.

    I doubt anyone will ever be able to match Psycho Mickie James. Her Psycho performances weren’t just top notch wrestling acting. There were times where she was Academy Award performance good. She was terrifying. My wife used to tune in to wrestling just to watch Mickie.

    Serena plays a different type of psycho, but she has an “it” factor similar to Mickie. I hope she can wrestle. Mickie is the second best female wrestler in history (Behind Trish…Gail Kim is a close 3rd and don’t even try to bring up Moolah or Miccelli). I really hope Serena has a clue in the ring. If she can wrestle, it is going to be a blast watching Serena grow as a performer. I hope she studies old MJC vignettes. MJC’s Psycho work should be studied by Hollywood actresses.

    Batista’s interesting wardrobe choice on Smackdown was certainly quite the Gatsby look. I would call it more Johnny Polo or Mean Street Posse. Regardless, he was a true dapper dandy. He must have lost a bet. John you should find out the story behind his wardrobe choices lately. He also seems fond of pink.

    Nickname suggestion for John Cena…. Taken from late Charles Schultz of Peanuts fame….. “The Great Pumpkin” Considering Randy Orton is orange and Sheamus has orange hair I see a three way pumpkin pie dance for the title.

    Jack Swagger is going to get buried for showing up H3. He showed H3 can’t mat wrestle in the beginning of the match and then he did push-ups after he forced H3 to go to the ropes to break the hold. Bad career move.

    William Shatner calling himself a “Sexy Boy”…. That is good stuff. All 80 year old men should think of themselves like that. This is a pretty decent Raw for a change.

  12. countessplaten
    February 1, 2010 at 11:39 PM

    OHSHITOMGWTFBBQ!!!

    – My favorite comment. :)

  13. Edswoggle
    February 2, 2010 at 5:37 PM

    I got quite a few good ones up on here- my favorite was when I said that I was going to see Edge win his 10th Title live at Mania, and then John said “Unless he gets injured first…what? Too Soon?” Nice comeback John…now go find a fucking piece of wood to knock on….

  14. Larry
    February 3, 2010 at 12:47 AM

    Wow, my 1st ever CommentFest or PPVFest and I got 4 in? That friggin rules!!!
    (Eminem, Cherry Dr Pepper, MVP’s breathe right strip, and Damn you WWE) (Sorry, had to brag… felt good about those.)

  1. February 2, 2010 at 3:21 AM

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