Home > Columns, General Wrestling, wwe > GC-SEW: 6 of the Most Unintentionally Funny Botched Moves in Wrestling History

GC-SEW: 6 of the Most Unintentionally Funny Botched Moves in Wrestling History

Professional wrestling is a very dangerous form of entertainment. It is a test of both body and mind, and a lack of either skill or concentration could lead to horrible long-term injuries. When a botched move does occur it needs to be taken seriously and respectfully for the wrestlers who put their health on the line for our entertainment. But, sometimes the botched move is so unusual that after all parties have recovered, it’s okay to look back on it and laugh until your dick hurts. Here are six of my favorite unintentionally funny botched moves in professional wrestling.

Mike Awesome’s Top Rope Crash


The Incident

Mike Awesome was a larger than average man that liked to incorporate high flying moves into his arsenal. One move that he used was a top rope splash that he called the “Awesome Splash.” Ring ropes are usually able to handle the weight of the average wrestler, but at 6 feet 7 inches and 290 pounds Awesome was tempting the Awesome Gods. Eventually his “Awesome Splash” led to an awesome botch, which was just…you know where I’m going with this…

What the Hell?!

What makes this botch so funny is how Awesome just lies there after falling flat on his face. He looked like Wile E. Coyote after falling off of a cliff. This is the closest we’ve come to bringing a cartoon character to life, and it took the form of a 290 pound moron. This was an isolated incident, but one might think that after such an embarrassing crash it would probably deter him from using this move in the future. If you thought that than you probably need your brains beaten in with a lead pipe to understand how Mike Awesome thinks. Awesome continued to use this move until the end of his (not so) awesome career.

Scott Steiner is a Botch Factory


The Incident

Scott Steiner is what happens when scientists mix gorilla and dinosaur DNA, and then give it steroids. A sociopath at worst and a liability at best, Steiner has spent the last several decades injuring himself and his opponents with his style of “wrestling.” Having a match with Steiner is as safe as attempting to neuter a fully alert polar bear with a banana. Regardless of this, promoters have continued to give him contracts so that he can show the other wrestlers what life in a wheelchair might feel like. Here we see Steiner suplexing his opponent with the care and ease of an ape handling luggage…

What the Hell?!

I really don’t know what this guy expected to happen. A suplex is a move where you are completely reliant on your opponent’s ability to carefully execute the hold. Since Scott Steiner is neither reliable nor careful, anyone who allows him that much freedom with their body must be an idiot. And, idiots are not to be pitied, they are to be mocked. Feel free to cackle hysterically.

Bonus Video!

For more on Scott Steiner’s inability to do anything correctly, check this out…

Vince McMahon Makes Quad Injuries Look Easy


The Incident

The 2005 Royal Rumble had come down to the final two competitors; John Cena, and Dave Batista. With the advantage going back and forth, the two men were at a stalemate when they simultaneously eliminated each other from the match. With the referees arguing over who the true victor was, WWE Chairman Vince McMahon marched to the ring to put an end to the debate. McMahon, the pioneer of sports entertainment, had been through wars in the past. He’d been beaten bloody by his own son, thrown through tables, hit in the heads with chairs, and been given more “Stone Cold Stunners” than there are numbers to count them. If anyone could put these two behemoths in their place, it would be him!

What the Hell?!

The quadriceps is the strongest muscle in the entire body. McMahon was able to injure both of his while sliding into the ring. That’s like tearing a moose in half with a pair of scissors. To further the comedy, Vince continued the tough guy act by shouting orders while seated on the mat. He looked like a giant toddler having a temper tantrum in a department store. By the time they got him out of the ring and the match re-started, the audience was laughing so hard they didn’t even care how it ended.

Sid Vicious Breaks a Leg


The Incident

WCW in 2001 was a sinking ship, with only the most desperate seaman (ha ha) willing to stay on board. One of those desperate slobs was Sid Vicious/Sycho Sid/Sid Eudy. He was a main-eventer, and at the Sin pay-per-view he was in a match with Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner for the WCW World Title. WCW officials correctly assumed Sid’s move set was limited, and asked him to incorporate some moves off the ropes. Sid told them this was a bad idea. They insisted so he gave in, and attempted one of the most pathetic middle rope big boots of all time. With all the pieces for destruction in place (over the hill wrestler, first attempt at a risky move, Scott Steiner) no one could have predicted that the most obvious thing would happen…

What the Hell?!

Whatever made Sid nervous about taking the leap off the top rope, clearly his foot agreed and decided to go else where. I’ve been a fan of wrestling for a long time, and I’ve seen a lot of injuries, but sweet Jesus this is hard to watch. As bad as I feel for Sid, I can’t help but notice that the man he was trying to boot was Scott Steiner. I know that Steiner himself had very little to do with the accident, but if Sid were against any other opponent would it have gone the same way? Is it possible that Steiner is just so insanely dangerous that even the air around him makes bones break? I like to think it does.

And, that’s just hilarious.

Kurt Angle vs Plexiglass

The Incident

Shane McMahon is the son of a multi-millionaire promoter, a well respected business man, and a surprisingly talented athlete. Kurt Angle is an Olympic gold medalist, one of the greatest wrestlers of all time, and a border-line psychopath. Angle is usually not a dangerous man in the ring; in fact he’s one of the safest for another professional to work with. But, when things don’t go his way he has been known to become a tad obsessive, and overly aggressive. In their match at the 2001 King of the Ring Angle was supposed to german-suplex Shane through the plexiglass entrance set. Things were going well until the plexiglass became self aware, and decided it didn’t want its life to end over a spot in a fake fight. We now have a nearly indestructible inanimate object against a mentally imbalanced perfectionist, and he’s using Shane McMahon’s head as a weapon.

What the Hell?!

The back of Shane’s head bounced off the plexiglass not once, but three times. This, in back of the head terms, is considered too fucking many. It’s not baffling to think that after not one, but THREE botches that maybe Shane’s brain had enough damage for one lifetime. It is baffling to think “the show must go on!” and head back to the ring to beat him up some more. The match could have ended right there, it didn’t need the extra three spots. A man flying through glass TWICE should be enough. But, not to Kurt Angle.

Damn his incredible dedication to detail and strong work ethic!

To be fair, if I had a chance to “Angle Slam” a McMahon off the top rope I would take it, but I’d probably do it to Stephanie. And I’d take the word “Angle” out of the name. And, she’d be naked.…

This took an ugly turn. An ugly, sexy turn.

Brock Lesnar: The Shooting Star Child


The Incident

WrestleMania is the pinnacle of professional wrestling. Every wrestler strives to be in the main-event of a WrestleMania card, and in 2003 Brock Lesnar had made it to the big time. He was facing off against fellow amateur wrestling alumni Kurt Angle, and the match was quickly becoming an all time classic. At some point during the match, Brock must have realized things were going too well, and decided to put an end to it by attempting an extremely dangerous top rope move known as the Shooting Star Press. He had done it several times in his rookie days, but it had been a while since he pulled it off. Being the stubborn jock that he is, he took to the skies and helped us all realize why the life of Brock Lesnar’s head is the worst life ever.

What the Hell?!

During his battle with gravity you can see that Lesnar wasn’t completely turned around, so he did the only thing his caveman brain could think of and used his face as a cushion. The result was a shock wave that caused every car alarm in the parking lot to go off. With a brain that could best be described as jello at this point, Lesnar got to his feet and gave Angle an F5 to end the match. The fact that he didn’t rupture his cranium is a freaking miracle. What’s even more amazing is that he has been able to lead a normal dumb jock life after giving his skull a near death experience. If scientists opened his head up they’d probably find six feet of cement protecting a tiny man pulling levers and masturbating to Sports Illustrated.

Andrew is a freelance writer and comedy blogger who stole your TV while you were reading his article. When not contributing to the John Report he writes a variety of other articles at his blog, http://thejohnsonation.blogspot.com/. To buy back your TV at a reasonable price, contact Andrew at johnsonator62@yahoo.com or follow the shit out of him on Facebook.

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  1. toby tobias
    February 18, 2010 at 10:37 AM

    the “steiner makes air dangerous” argument is the most solid argument for anything ever argued in the world.

  2. Mrs. Jericho
    February 18, 2010 at 10:39 AM

    great article. very well done and super funny!

  3. Aaron
    February 18, 2010 at 10:58 AM

    Mike Awesome could have been something really special. I garnerd a lot of respect for the guys’ ability when he took ECW by storm for that short period. But terrible gimmicks and angles really neutered him. He died way too soon, RIP Mike.

    This was a well written, Cracked-esque article. Applause.

    • jay
      February 18, 2010 at 12:16 PM

      How could you not like Awesome’s “That ’70’s Guy” WCW gimmick? I bet it was pretty easy.

      I actually found it amusing, but I think I was the only person who did.

      Awesome was an incredible athelete. Personally, I would have been scared to death to step inside an ECW ring with him. (Unless it was a WWE/ECW ring where they stop the match if you have a nosebleed or a hangnail.)

  4. February 18, 2010 at 11:03 AM

    The thing with Steiner is he was a great worker for a lot of years until he stopped giving a shit in WCW in about 1998 and all he cared about was doing roids and pissing people off. From the late 80s into the early 90s the guy was one of the best workers in the business similar in a way to Kurt Angle in that he was an athletic amateur wrestler. Then he got too big.

    This was a lot of fun to read, Andrew. Batista laughing at Vince getting injured was your best unintentional joke, by the way.

    • jay
      February 18, 2010 at 12:21 PM

      He and Rick were phenomenal. Both were two of the few wrestlers who could actually hang with Angle. Unfortunately Rick got hurt and Scott went insane.

      I don’t know of anything to back it up, but I bet the old Scott Steiner was one of the most legitmate tough guys to ever enter the ring.

      • Aaron
        February 18, 2010 at 1:37 PM

        God, I could not stand Steiners promos in WCW in ’98/’99/2000… they were god awful.

        He’d rhyme and pause and rhyme and pause.. it just went nowhere.. He was a dumbed down Ultimate Warrior.

        “Nothing’s finer, than Scott Steiner, in a diner, ‘cuz your a damn whiner, From North Carolina… you old bastard. I’ma’ genetic freak, with all the freaks, and the hoochies….. big poppa pump is your hookup… holla if you hear me! ”

        That’s not verbadum.. but close enough.

  5. Jared Ralphie Robertson
    February 18, 2010 at 11:07 AM

    you should submit this to cracked.com they would love this list

  6. February 18, 2010 at 12:14 PM

    I have an exclusive contract with John. He pays me in strippers and gumballs. I really should have read the damn thing before signing it.

  7. Edswoggle
    February 18, 2010 at 2:06 PM

    Without a doubt, the funniest (and funnest read) of the guest writers yet.

  8. Tabitha
    February 18, 2010 at 2:15 PM

    YOU GET PAID WITH GUMBALLS? HELL I WANT A COLUMN!!!

    GREAT job! I’m totally at my desk at work giggling. I’m waiting for the guys in the white coats.

  9. Darth Randall
    February 18, 2010 at 2:34 PM

    It really did read like a cracked articule. I loved it. Hopefully you will be the comedy writer of the John Report. I think we need only one, like the Highlander.

  10. February 18, 2010 at 2:54 PM

    This was so awesome, I laughed so damn hard at the “comic” of Angle and Shane. Great work.

  11. DeV
    February 18, 2010 at 3:31 PM

    I must say, I laughed a lot at this one :)

  12. MIchael
    February 18, 2010 at 3:47 PM

    Great article, I laughed out loud on more then one occasion, but I’m still terrified from watching the Sid leg break, haven’t seen this in years and now I know why! :)

  13. Mrs. Jericho
    February 18, 2010 at 4:25 PM

    i utilized the sid vicious video on my sons to point out exactly why doing drop kicks off their beds might not be a good idea.

  14. swanni
    February 18, 2010 at 7:18 PM

    You missed Triple H and his quad

    No world title reign for you

  15. Yosh
    February 18, 2010 at 9:21 PM

    Others have said this, but this article is very Cracked-ish.

  16. JG
    February 18, 2010 at 10:25 PM

    This is hilarious. Good stuff (especially the Angle part).

    You forgot the Triple H Pedi-driver. That should be an honorable mention.

  17. Brian W.
    February 18, 2010 at 11:26 PM

    Excellent shit, my friend. Take a bow (but don’t tear your quad..)

  18. Brian W.
    February 18, 2010 at 11:28 PM

    ..and careful with those gummy strippers with balls…they’ll only break your heart!!

  19. Clay
    February 19, 2010 at 1:15 AM

    Great Article Man keep them coming.

  20. February 19, 2010 at 6:02 AM

    “Having a match with Steiner is as safe as attempting to neuter a fully alert polar bear with a banana.”

    This made me laugh out loud. My wife just looked at me wierd, so I read it to her. She’s not as into wrestling as I am, so she just looked at me wierd some more.

    Kinda like when I asked if there was any koolaid, she was like “Yeah, why?” to which I said “Cuz somebody gonna get they thirst quenched”…Once again the wierd look.

    Anyways, good article man, keep it up. I love the comedy in it, I don’t know that anyone has written wrestling comedy so well in a long time.

  21. jay to the r o c
    February 19, 2010 at 7:41 AM

    wow, i laughed so hard at this. the comics were amazing

  22. Eric Johnson
    February 19, 2010 at 10:41 AM

    More please!!!! That was awesome, could not stop laughing. And the air around Steiner is dangerous, everyone needs to watch their back, including the English language.

  23. February 19, 2010 at 4:01 PM

    Great piece; informative and humorous. That Sid Vicious leg break reminds me of LT’s hit on Joe Theisman (one of the most viewed football clips ever). It’s tough to watch.

    Scott Steiner, wow. All I know is that if someone doesn’t believe he’s was on/is on/will be on ‘roids, etc. then you don’t have a human brain.

    Kudos to wrestlers by the way, “For what you put your body through.”

  24. jay
    February 19, 2010 at 4:19 PM

    What about the ECW broken necks?

  25. Aaron
    February 19, 2010 at 4:23 PM

    Sequel article… can’t fire all yer bullets.

    • jay
      February 19, 2010 at 4:49 PM

      True. But they are really disturbing.

      I miss ECW. I had one opportunity to see ECW live, and I turned it down. Both Sabu and RVD were on the top of card. I really regret that decision.

      Even when it was on TNN it was still the best. You always had the most action and amazing plot twists.

      On a side note, I probably will never have the opportunity to see Sabu live, and I really regret that.

      • Aaron
        February 19, 2010 at 5:14 PM

        I dunno if they had the most amazing plot twists. ECW had some great stuff, but some of the plots were a little “meh”.

        Anything with Raven was pretty much gold. I will admit that, and they build Sandman’s character pretty well, but overall, there weren’t too many crazy plot twists. I also did like the Cyrus stuff on TNN toward ECW’s end.. but it got old and repetitive.

        Now I was a huge ECW fan, going so far as to put it at number 2 behind WWe, and distancing WCW at third during those big attitude years.. but I don’t think ECW was ever truely the best for a total package standpoint. The best in ring product in terms of wrestling and brutality (which appeals to me), but I don’t think it was on WWF’s level during that time.

        I do miss it though.. as for Sabu, if you didn’t see him live years ago, there’d be no point now.. he’s just not in the same league as himself 10/15 years ago… But that is a regret. Nothing like seeing an ECW in person…

        • jay
          February 19, 2010 at 7:22 PM

          I am surprised that Sabu can even move with all of the injuries he had over the years.

          You are right that ECW could not compare to either WWF or WCW. Those two promotions had millions of dollars to work with and it shows.

          But with ECW, they seemed to be able to accomplish so much with so little financially, talent wise ect… I have heard that ECW wrestlers would do things like package and ship merchandise during the week or answer the phone for the pay-per-minute phone hotline. The fact that they could compete was amazing.

          Plus with ECW, you had the feeling you were watching something special. It was underground and not mainstream. It was extreme and the big two would liberally steal story-lines and hire away the best talent.

          I think I really find ECW special, because it was unique. My most formative years in watching wrestling was in the old NWA Mid Atlantic territory. For this reason, I had heavy resentments toward Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff, and Vince Russo. They ended the wrestling that I grew up loving. Paul E. Dangerously-Heyman took the best of the old territory system and modernized it. (Of course, if I had access to ECCW programming when Shane Douglas threw the NWA Championship in the trash, I would have probably never tuned in again.)

          Oh well, I am at peace with being a big hypocrite.

  26. February 19, 2010 at 6:33 PM

    That was freaking hilarious. Great article, you should do more of those. There are plenty of botches to talk about.

  27. jay
    February 19, 2010 at 6:59 PM

    Check out the site, wrestlinggonewrong.com It has or at least used to have a ton of video of wrestling mistakes.

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