The John Report: Talking Smack for 02/12/10 (Undertaker/Jericho)

Welcome to the Talking Smack column where I offer up a quick rundown of WWE’s Friday broadcast, Smackdown. I usually avoid spoilers. I failed at that this week. Had a friend at the show that was texting me through the night and I read the texts. I feel a little dirty, have to admit. It doesn’t ruin the show for me at all. It’s just that my enjoyment level goes down when I know what I’m going to see.

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Taped from Baton Rouge, Louisiana let’s talk some Smackdown…

Coming up on the show was Jericho/Undertaker in a no DQ match as we get to see all six Elimination Chamber guys in matches on the show.

Rey Mysterio d. CM Punk (***1/2)
As I’ve written about many times, this is a rumored WrestleMania match with a hair vs. mask stip, so I was looking forward to this one. Did it deliver? Of course. I loved this match. It was similar to Jericho/Mysterio although those two have been working together a lot longer than Punk/Mysterio have. This felt fresh. They got 15 minutes of TV time, which is fantastic. Like a typical Mysterio match, there were counter holds all over the place and a great story told as Punk worked on Mysterio’s back for much of the match. I loved the spot where Rey was up against the ringpost and Punk hit a baseball slide into his back crushing him. Rey ultimately made the comeback and went for the 619, but Serena blocked that. He managed to take out Gallows after that that. Punk went for the GTS, but Rey countered out and got the rollup pin. I loved this match.

Post match, Punk, Gallows & Serena beat Mysterio up. Serena even booted him in the gut at one point. It ended with a cool visual as Punk was on his knees instructing Gallows to put Rey on his shoulders. He did it and then Punk finally connected on the GTS to KNOCK THE FUCK OUT~! out of Mysterio. Great angle. This is likely the start of their feud. It should continue in the Elimination Chamber all the way until WrestleMania 26. I’ll enjoy it.

Drew McIntyre vs. Kane ended in a double DQ (*)
I love the new Drew McIntyre intro and theme. Not sure if I mentioned it, but I never liked the old one that much. It was too generic. This one? Awesome. The video package at the start is great and the song is pretty solid too. Love it. The match was pretty basic ending in a double DQ. After the match, Kane gave him a chokeslam and placed the IC title on top of the prone champion. They love DQ endings on Smackdown, don’t they? They’re doing a rematch at the Elimination Chamber PPV for the belt. In other words, Kane is losing to put McIntyre over even more. Fine by me. No chance they have Kane beat McIntyre for that belt.

Backstage, my girl Mickie James-Canton was thinking about having some fruit when Michelle & Layla came up to her. They made bad fat jokes while Mickie said that their issue was over because she beat Michelle in 15 seconds at the Rumble. McCool said no because Mickie had her belt. Michelle picked up some cottage cheese, suggested Mickie try it and Mickie slapped it up in the air only to land on…Vickie Guerrero. She was pissed while Mickie ran off and Laycool sucked up to her. When Mickie hit it, Vickie wasn’t on screen, so it was a nice sight gag.

The next match was supposed to be Mickie vs. Layla. Vickie came out right away to announce it would be a handicap match with Michelle involved.

Michelle McCool & Layla d. Mickie James (*)
McCool wasn’t dressed to wrestle, so she was barefoot. It’s like she’s Samoan or something. Mickie James-Canton tried to fight them off, but everytime she got a two count the other girl was there to take care of her. Two minutes in, McCool pinned her with the Styles Clash…err Faith Breaker. Michelle stole the Maryse pin here. I’m not complaining. I’m just jealous. The heels celebrated their victory. No word on when they do Mickie vs. Michelle for the title again or if it involves Beth in a triple threat. It could be at the Elimination Chamber PPV although I doubt it. I’m not sure, though.

The top of hour two segment was Batista’s promo…or so we thought. He wasn’t going for his senior PGA golfer look. Instead it was the jean jacket without a shirt look. What a guy. Instead of talking to Josh Matthews, he stared him down to get him out of there. Batista said nothing. He dropped the microphone, walked around the ring, went back in, left, went back in and dropped it again without saying a damn thing. He drew some really good heel heat that seemed legit to me. There was a cool moment when a guy in a Cena shirt was talking junk to him as Batista simply stared at the guy. It wasn’t a bad segment. It was different, though. I like heel Batista. The silent, but violent animal works.

Teddy Long came out to announce Batista vs. Edge next week in Edge’s first singles match since his return. Fine by me.

Matt Hardy & The Great Khali d. The Hart Dynasty (1/2*)
Matt brought out Maria as his “Valentine” because they obviously wanted to have her brawl with Natalya. Two minutes in, that’s what happened and Matt got the pin on Kidd. Khali barely got in the match. Why doesn’t The Hart Dynasty get the push they deserve?

They went over the Elimination Chamber card. So far we’ve got the Raw EC match, the SD EC match, Gail vs. Maryse for the Divas Title and McIntyre vs. Kane for the IC title. Not sure what else there will be. Maybe a tag title or US title defense. Maybe the Women’s Title will be on the line.

R-Truth d. John Morrison via ref stoppage (NR)
About a minute in, Morrison went for this roll over Truth’s shoulders and collapsed in a heap grabbing his right ankle. They replayed it with Striker going nuts about how badly it twisted. Of course, if you know anything about ankle injuries like I do you’d see that it didn’t twist at all. It landed normal. Morrison went on his Twitter saying he broke it in three places. He also worked matches in Ecuador at the house shows over the last couple of days. He also posted pics of him surfing. In other words, he’s not hurt. It’s a work. It’ll either lead to a possible heel turn on his part (he gets mad at Truth for “injuring” him even though it was an accident) or it could be their way of getting Shawn Michaels in the Chamber match. Like I said, though, it’s not real. He’s fine.

Before the main event, Edge cut a promo. He talked about how he could face one of 12 people in the WrestleMania main event match (the six in the Raw EC match and the six in the SD EC match), but that one person stood out that he faced two years earlier: The Undertaker. Jericho came out. He said unlike Edge he doesn’t get injured, he just wins championships. Awesome. I love this man in a non gay way…not that there’s anything wrong with that. He said he’ll win the title in the Chamber (I agree) and for Edge to say away from him because if he continues to antagonize Jericho more bad things will happen to him. That set us up for the main event.

Chris Jericho d. The Undertaker in a No DQ Match (*3/4)
They’ve had better matches. Edge was on commentary here. He really did a great job of putting over how serious he takes every match and how the person on the other side of the ring is his worst enemy. I like that. Treat it like a sport even though it’s not sport. Just don’t treat it like a joke. Undertaker is really starting to show his age and his various injuries (hip, knees, back) are catching up to him. I read house show reports seeing that he’s working 20 minute matches. Is he going to hold up for WrestleMania this year? I hope so. The match was no DQ even though no weapons were used. They booked it that way so Edge could interfere to cost the Undertaker the match. Undertaker threw Jericho into him at the announce table and then he gave Edge a kick to the head for the hell of it. When they got back in the ring, Edge gave Undertaker the Spear. Jericho capitalized, hit the Codebreaker and beat the Undertaker in 8 minutes. When was the last time the Undertaker was pinned in a match that short? Doesn’t happen often. The show ended with Jericho celebrating as he went up the ramp.

Three Stars of the Show
1. CM Punk – Solid match, loved how he instructed Luke to put Rey on his shoulders.
2. Rey Mysterio – Another great match. Love this guy.
3. Chris Jericho – Money promo, plus good work with Undertaker.

These were my three last week except with Jericho in first. They’re consistently the best part of the show.

7.5 out of 10
Last week: 8

Another very good edition of Smackdown. I feel like a broken record saying it every week, but what else is there to say? This show is consistent in terms of quality. What’s great too is that the entire company has been on fire for three weeks now. I’m happy with what we’re seeing on a weekly basis.

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Here are the reader comments from my Facebook and Twitter page. It’s like Commentfest-lite. There are less than 100 comments, but we got a decent sample. The readers will be in blue while my comments will follow in the brackets in regular black font.

Welcome to friday night smackdown where for once in a week, there is actual wrestling on WWE tv.

So glad DX can’t be on Smack Down anymore..thanks ShowMiz..can’t wait to see the interaction between ShowMiz and Jericho…maybe Jericho will help Hart Dynasty take the belts from ShowMiz…calling it now.

Welcome to wwe’s b show. If you’re wondering the a show is superstars where its a full hour of wrestling most of the time. (Thanks for posting Carlito.)

Serena for playboy!

Ok, I’m already straight edge, I’ve already shaved my head. Am I in SES or do I have to bang Serena to get in. Please let me bang Serena. (No, but Luke is available.)

Does anyone know what happened after Raw went off the air last week? I got an EXCLUSIVE look on Smackdown tonight…..it was vintage……almost KNOCKED ME THE FUCK OUT~……Mickie James-Canton…….for the love of God please put me in commentfest!!!!!!! (Wow that was insane. I like it.)

I guess Rey wasn’t ready to straight edge.

Is it me, or is Striker one of the best announcers right now? (Yes he is the best.)

Punk’s got a new fashion accesory, courtesy of Gallows; a Rey Mysterio arm shaw.

MJC sighting @ 838! (I barely noticed.)

Where did MJC get those jeans? I’m guessing Sherwin Williams. (Wherever she wants.)

I bet you wish you were pinning Mickie like that! (Sure.)

Remember when Michelle McCool used to actually wrestle? She must have been getting lessons from the undertaker about how to play it easy.

Michelle McCool already knew how to be easy. (Thanks for posting Undertaker.)

What a lesson for the kids. My grandpa never wore a jean jacket and he didn’t have a nose ring either.

Loved the batista promo. (He is such a wordsmith.)

Does Danny Bonaduce know that Batista raided his closet?

Batista promo was a frickin disaster. And it took soooo long. if I was a wrestler on that roster who was told my planned 5min match that night was canned due to time constraints I’d be be fit to retch watching him walk back to the ring the second time to say NOTHING!!! AGAIN!!! Fuck sake. (Sounds like he did a great job of getting heel heat against you!)

What a swerve! R-Truth said “Who dat” instead of What’s up. Still not convinced he can put more than two words together.

Somebody’s pants apparently ripped according to Maria’s Twitter … after seeing the picture she posted of her mounting Nattie, I think they were mine.

I’ve TM’ed the name “The Jobberwalkies” for the team of Matt Hardy/The Great Kalhi w/ Runjin Singh. (They don’t lose, do they?)

Is it bad whenever I hear people say the great one, I think of The Rock? (It’s fine, but you can also think of me.)

Don’t adjust your sets. Chris Jericho won!

End was good, keeping us guessing about Edge. (Although we all know it’s going to be Him v Jericho.)

Jericho – loses clean to R-Truth, Matt Hardy, mid-card elite. Beats The Undertaker, and it isn’t too much of a surprise. THAT is why he is the best in the world. (Yep. True that.)

Thanks guys. More next week, I promise.

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Plug time. I’ll focus on what’s going on with my blog. In the past week the following columns have been posted:

– The Road to the Elimination Chamber by David K. focusing on some stats from past EC matches and some odds on who might win this year.
– Sports Entertainment Weekly by Andrew Johnson looks at the six types of wrestling fans. It’s pretty funny and true in some cases.
– I wrote a post on Thursday calling Vince McMahon out on his bullshit by saying the Survivor Series brand name is dead and also covered some other topics.
– Heather M. debuted writing a column called Diva Debate looking at the various women in WWE.

Most likely on Sunday at some point I’ll be posting part three of my questions and answers series. There are a lot of them that I’ve answered in the last week. You can see them (or ask more questions) here: http://www.formspring.me/johnreport I’ve answered 662 questions as of this writing and have another 120 in my inbox. Keeps me busy!

It’s all at the blog located right here: johnreport.wordpress.com You can see the links for all of them on the right hand side. Make sure you’re checking it out regularly because I post updates all the time. There could be a URL change soon too. Keep looking!

I might be back on Monday with a new column. Not sure yet. If not, Tuesday for the Raw Deal as always. Thanks for reading.

John Canton – oratoryjohn@gmail.com
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